and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You dont lie about slip and slides
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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