Already got asked if we're dating
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
