whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
