So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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