we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We have started to decorate penises.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
