What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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