You can't special order awesome
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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