fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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