yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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