when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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