My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
