you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
