I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We have so much sex to catch up on
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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