how can u be prego again
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
