that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
