I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
