can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
