This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
cat food counts as protein by the way
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
