nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
