who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
