i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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