I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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