yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
