we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
