lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
