oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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