the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
