My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
This toilet bowl is my home.
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