Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
