East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
