O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just tell him i said nine months
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
