Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
