don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
