I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
