ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
