it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
