Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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