sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize