dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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