check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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