piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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