I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Randomize
