She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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