you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
