guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We talked him into tasing himself.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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