ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
