I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
