I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
