ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
