Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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