normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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