The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
