Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
