the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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