How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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