I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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