Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
